I apparently realized this back in 2015 when reviewing Perilous Seas on Goodreads, but it's a good realization so I thought I ought to post it here for future reference.
A character type I really, really like is the mentor figure who realizes what the protagonist's destiny is going to be and takes it upon themself to facilitate that destiny without bothering to reveal it to the protagonist. Examples: Lith'Rian, Navis, Citan, Deth. . . yeah, this pretty consistently comes up as a theme in characters I like. Those who do it maliciously (Doc Scratch) don't count - only those who either like or are trying to get on the good side of the protagonist, but still don't want to bother to tell them what's going to happen, for whatever reason.
Nobody ever gives me book recommendations on this blog, but if you happen to know of any books (or, hey, even TV shows, these days) that feature this character type, do let me know, please?
Showing posts with label webcomics. Show all posts
Showing posts with label webcomics. Show all posts
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
On Books
God is something risky to release.
Lock God in a box
With only a tiny pinprick hole for breath
And it will take only seconds -
Of course, when God chooses -
For the air to be full of God,
You yourself filling your lungs with God,
God throughout you so that you too are God:
For God to assert omnipresence.
God menaces because God matters.
God imposes the will of God.
When you are imbued by God,
When the world becomes God,
God takes precedence -
Nothing else trumps God.
God is dominant -
But God is dominant both around and within you.
You walk surrounded by God,
Seeing and hearing and touching and knowing only God,
While breathing in God, God pulsing in every heartbeat,
Your mind permeated by God,
Each thought: God.
This is why we worship God:
What else can we do when faced with something like this?
Let God out - let God let God out -
And that is it.
There will be nothing else but God.
This, this is why, when I am drowning in God's ocean,
A tumult which overwhelms me, controls me,
And then some looming tsunami lulls the water for a moment,
Lifts my head above the tossing waves of God,
Thrusts it confused and disoriented into the thin air
In a brief instant of respite,
I rush to seal the ocean into confinement,
Keyless, holeless.
How else can I avoid a life of staring
At a shut eyelid larger than the universe
With the constant uncertainty,
Never knowing when the vast eye will open,
And I will once again be immobilized
By the transfixing gaze of the divine eye,
Yet no confidence that this time at last
Will finally be the time it never closes again?
Lock God in a box
With only a tiny pinprick hole for breath
And it will take only seconds -
Of course, when God chooses -
For the air to be full of God,
You yourself filling your lungs with God,
God throughout you so that you too are God:
For God to assert omnipresence.
God menaces because God matters.
God imposes the will of God.
When you are imbued by God,
When the world becomes God,
God takes precedence -
Nothing else trumps God.
God is dominant -
But God is dominant both around and within you.
You walk surrounded by God,
Seeing and hearing and touching and knowing only God,
While breathing in God, God pulsing in every heartbeat,
Your mind permeated by God,
Each thought: God.
This is why we worship God:
What else can we do when faced with something like this?
Let God out - let God let God out -
And that is it.
There will be nothing else but God.
This, this is why, when I am drowning in God's ocean,
A tumult which overwhelms me, controls me,
And then some looming tsunami lulls the water for a moment,
Lifts my head above the tossing waves of God,
Thrusts it confused and disoriented into the thin air
In a brief instant of respite,
I rush to seal the ocean into confinement,
Keyless, holeless.
How else can I avoid a life of staring
At a shut eyelid larger than the universe
With the constant uncertainty,
Never knowing when the vast eye will open,
And I will once again be immobilized
By the transfixing gaze of the divine eye,
Yet no confidence that this time at last
Will finally be the time it never closes again?
Thursday, March 13, 2014
If Only In My Beginning Weren't My End!
Imagine tying up all of the strings
Into one tight rope -some scattered ones
Would hang loose of the bundle,
The waving flags of imperfection,
But the rope remains more important.
This is the season to sow and not to reap.
Perfection is a star sometimes hidden by a cloud.
The light is dimmed, and then the cloud passes.
It shines again, and, like starlight,
Something very far away illuminates what is present.
We are submerged in a bath from a source
We can never reach; the tap switches on and off
Of its own accord. We have no power
But must accept the light and the shadow.
Tie up the rope in a season of darkness;
Trim all the threads only when the stars appear.
Into one tight rope -some scattered ones
Would hang loose of the bundle,
The waving flags of imperfection,
But the rope remains more important.
This is the season to sow and not to reap.
Perfection is a star sometimes hidden by a cloud.
The light is dimmed, and then the cloud passes.
It shines again, and, like starlight,
Something very far away illuminates what is present.
We are submerged in a bath from a source
We can never reach; the tap switches on and off
Of its own accord. We have no power
But must accept the light and the shadow.
Tie up the rope in a season of darkness;
Trim all the threads only when the stars appear.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Linked Links
Thomas Mann
Jenna Moran
Jenna Moran Addendum
Jenna Moran Part 3
Jenna Moran - Another Take
Something about judgement being founded on the presence of the very emotions that get in the way of the ideal that lies behind the judgement. Judgement as self-defeating paradox.
Jenna Moran
Jenna Moran Addendum
Jenna Moran Part 3
Jenna Moran - Another Take
Something about judgement being founded on the presence of the very emotions that get in the way of the ideal that lies behind the judgement. Judgement as self-defeating paradox.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
I Confuse Myself
I was so happy just now to find that Martin has finally shown up in the new novel version of Hitherby.
I really don't understand my reactions to Martin. Consciously, I'm not at all aware of liking him. In fact, I find him really frightening. But I'm fascinated by him. But not for reasons as obvious as to why I have similar feelings about Ben Linus.
I really don't understand my reactions to Martin. Consciously, I'm not at all aware of liking him. In fact, I find him really frightening. But I'm fascinated by him. But not for reasons as obvious as to why I have similar feelings about Ben Linus.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Be the Sea Dweller Lowblood
I spent my weekend completely unproductively falling madly in love with ckret2's Be the Sea Dweller Lowblood. This is a Homestuck fanfic, which is somewhat regrettable, since it's significantly more accessible than Homestuck, and I'd happily recommend it to people, but I think you have to read Homestuck first.
I should note that I'm not saying that BtSDLb is better than Homestuck. I think that Homestuck is aesthetically superior to BtSDLb. But BtSDLb seems far more personal for me - it aims a lot more directly at my own personal kinks and interests, whereas Homestuck is technically amazing and sometimes really emotionally involving without being as consistently on the mark for my personal taste as BtSDLb.
Anyway, still can't focus on anything, so need to talk briefly about some of my favorite parts of BtSDLb so that I can maybe get my brain back?
1) The story is just about a large cast of psychologically screwed-up characters. Okay, so is Homestuck, but in Homestuck the importance of the cast is secondary to the importance of the story, whereas in BtSDLb it's the other way around. Of course, this wouldn't be enough to work for me quite as well as it does if it weren't for the fact that the individual characters work very well for me, but this is, personally, much more on an Angel Sanctuary level of, yes, people screw each other up so badly than an Utena level.
2) The story is mostly about trolls. I am such a mostly-there-for-the-trolls Homestuck fan.
2) Equius. Equius is already my favorite in Homestuck. Because he's a guy with long, straight hair. Am I kidding? I don't even know. Anyway, he's my favorite, and "[S] Equius: Seek the highb100d" is probably the single most effective part of Homestuck for me. However, in canon, Equius is a minor, one-note joke character. I love the joke and care deeply about him despite that, but I'm very glad that he's also one of ckret2's favorite characters and that she decided to develop him more deeply for her story. I also really like the way he's developed. So poignant! He's probably more universally sympathetic in BtSDLb, because he's oppressed and downtrodden and has internalized the oppression, rather than being an aristocrat, but I don't care, I love him in every incarnation no matter what.
3) Eridan. Eridan was ckret2's other favorite troll. I knew there were people out there who actually cared about Eridan in canon, but I was always completely indifferent to him. He was a joke character like Equius, except his joke wasn't particularly funny to me. Ckret2 has made him significantly more interesting. I especially like the fact that he's not completely pathetic like he was in canon and actually does some pretty awesome things at times, particularly in his interactions with Karkat.
4) Karkat. Karkat is a really appealing and likeable character wherever he appears. I think most readers are fans of him in canon, including me, even if he's not my favorite favorite. He's just fun to read about, and it's always positive when he shows up. I'm not sure that ckret2 improves on Karkat's development in the same way she does with Equius and Eridan, but I really like her version of the character, and how complex he is. At first, I thought he really did enjoy his position and his life, which I kind of liked - it was soooo cute - sorry, adorabloodthirsty - but of course it's even better to keep him all self-loathing and deceptive of others but still basically decent but really messed-up. So I love the way his character is done here.
5) Sollux - I just. . . this Sollux is amazing. Amazing.
6) Rhosyn - I have mixed feelings about Rose in canon, and the same is true about Rhosyn in BtSDLB. But what is done with her is just in general amazing. Her sarcasm is universal. It can be really hard to read. I think this is great.
7) DAIVAT - I don't actually like Dave much in canon. I mean, I like him when he is interacting with most of the trolls (TAVROS! GAMZEE! EQUIUS!), but I don't like him as a character that much - he irritates me. But I think I just unambiguously adore Daivat. His character is so interesting and so much more appealing than Dave and I CANNOT WAIT for all sorts of people to start realizing his deep, dark secret. It is going to be so awesome.
8) Vriska's scene with Dualscar - I am not a Vriska fan (this is a controversial issue). I don't hate hate her like some fans apparently do, and I do think I understand why some people like her. But she does irritate me, and I do generally root against her. I started out feeling similarly about her in this story, but I think ckret2's done a good job of using the scenario where, instead of being an upper-middle-class kid bullying and tormenting a lower-class kid, she's a lower-middle-class kid bullying and tormenting royalty, and generally using this to make her more sympathetic. Some of the parts of the comic that have spoken to me the most powerfully have been things Vriksa said (of course, because a lot of what she says is about the futility of hope and talking about how useful hope is is always the way to my heart), and in particular her scene talking to the ghost of Dualscar was really powerful. Oh, and ckret2 has actually also done a good job of making me like Terezi less (in canon, I don't necessarily feel passionate about her, but I do like her because she's my patron troll). Her reaction to what happened to Sollux and what she did to Vriska and Karkat were both really pretty awful.
9) Sollux and Karkat - Oh, man. I just love this. . . relationship. . . so much. Two self-loathing guys taking it out on each other and being massively screwed up about it. They want to get along but they just can't because they both hate themselves so much. Awesome forever.
10) The whole "Poor Unfortunate Souls" bit - Works. So effective. Of course, because part of it is Sollux doing that thing, which is amazing, and part of it is Karkat being sooooooo cu-adorabloodthirsty. But in general it is really awesome and lives up to the hype I saw for it on the WEBSITE OF EVIL AND DO NOT CLICK.
11) Equius <3 Tavros - This is not the most awesome relationship in the comic. But I found myself rather unexpectedly empathizing intensely with both of them. Okay, yes, this is both exactly how a relationship between a lowbl00d Equius and a highblood Tavros would go, and also something that is directly relevant to my own life in its terrifying awkwardness.
12) Equius <3< Gamzee - Epic. I had never expected before I started reading this comic that I would ever be drawn into shipping kismesis, because I don't ship much anyway (I don't really ship anything in Homestuck. Well, except for Equius <> Nepeta. But I would ship Equius <> Nepeta, given that Equius is my favorite character and moirails my favorite relationship) and because why would I care about kismesis, what relevance does kismesis have to me? But ckret2 does amazing kismesis. Equius and Gamzee is great. Especially the surgery scene. I love the way the power relations in the scene keep flipping. I love the way Gamzee casually threatens to tell on Equius, and how HAPPY Equius is to be cutting Gamzee up, and Gamzee moving, and Equius being driven to the point of confessing his hate, and hate snogs, and, yeah. I kinda ship it.
13) ERIDAN <3< KARKAT - I have come to ship it so much. And yes. I realize that neither one is capable of a true kismesis at this point, explicitly in canon. But the scenes here make me so happy. Karkat being soooooooooooo adorabloodthirsty. Karkat having no idea why he hasn't let go of Eridan yet. Eridan being so happy to find himself in Karkat's room. Eridan accidentally impersonating Karkat with Vriska. ERIDAN PURPOSEFULLY IMPERSONATING KARKAT WITH TEREZI (OMG OMG OMG, for some reason I just love the impersonation thing). Eridan and Karkat's duel and verbal duel. Hate snogs, near hate rape, and Eridan still holding out the possibility even when he isn't into it. Eridan's Jack Sparrow moment. Karkat's potentially final words being "Spade Laws." Eridan's happiness when he thinks Karkat is making it official. I just ship this so much. It really moves me. And it's about two guys who hate each other. Who knew?
14) Oh, btw, speaking of ERIDAN IMPERSONATING KARKAT WITH TEREZI - I do not like Suweet Broski, and I was initially glad that he did not possess Karkat. I was rooting for Karkat there. But ever since that happened I kind of regret my attitude there - there should be more possessing and, more importantly, impersonation. Suweet Broski pretending to be Karkat would have been awesome and so hilarious. I am so disappointed that when Sollux's body actually did get possessed Troll Britain's First Guardian turned it into a female body. Wouldn't it have been hilarious if she had pretended to be Sollux and confused the hell out of Karkat? And I know that Daivat doesn't want to impersonate Karkat, but I can kind of imagine Karkat wanting to impersonate Daivat? This should happen. There needs to be more impersonation.
15) Waiting so hard for the Ψiioniic to show up in the present day.
I should note that I'm not saying that BtSDLb is better than Homestuck. I think that Homestuck is aesthetically superior to BtSDLb. But BtSDLb seems far more personal for me - it aims a lot more directly at my own personal kinks and interests, whereas Homestuck is technically amazing and sometimes really emotionally involving without being as consistently on the mark for my personal taste as BtSDLb.
Anyway, still can't focus on anything, so need to talk briefly about some of my favorite parts of BtSDLb so that I can maybe get my brain back?
1) The story is just about a large cast of psychologically screwed-up characters. Okay, so is Homestuck, but in Homestuck the importance of the cast is secondary to the importance of the story, whereas in BtSDLb it's the other way around. Of course, this wouldn't be enough to work for me quite as well as it does if it weren't for the fact that the individual characters work very well for me, but this is, personally, much more on an Angel Sanctuary level of, yes, people screw each other up so badly than an Utena level.
2) The story is mostly about trolls. I am such a mostly-there-for-the-trolls Homestuck fan.
2) Equius. Equius is already my favorite in Homestuck. Because he's a guy with long, straight hair. Am I kidding? I don't even know. Anyway, he's my favorite, and "[S] Equius: Seek the highb100d" is probably the single most effective part of Homestuck for me. However, in canon, Equius is a minor, one-note joke character. I love the joke and care deeply about him despite that, but I'm very glad that he's also one of ckret2's favorite characters and that she decided to develop him more deeply for her story. I also really like the way he's developed. So poignant! He's probably more universally sympathetic in BtSDLb, because he's oppressed and downtrodden and has internalized the oppression, rather than being an aristocrat, but I don't care, I love him in every incarnation no matter what.
3) Eridan. Eridan was ckret2's other favorite troll. I knew there were people out there who actually cared about Eridan in canon, but I was always completely indifferent to him. He was a joke character like Equius, except his joke wasn't particularly funny to me. Ckret2 has made him significantly more interesting. I especially like the fact that he's not completely pathetic like he was in canon and actually does some pretty awesome things at times, particularly in his interactions with Karkat.
4) Karkat. Karkat is a really appealing and likeable character wherever he appears. I think most readers are fans of him in canon, including me, even if he's not my favorite favorite. He's just fun to read about, and it's always positive when he shows up. I'm not sure that ckret2 improves on Karkat's development in the same way she does with Equius and Eridan, but I really like her version of the character, and how complex he is. At first, I thought he really did enjoy his position and his life, which I kind of liked - it was soooo cute - sorry, adorabloodthirsty - but of course it's even better to keep him all self-loathing and deceptive of others but still basically decent but really messed-up. So I love the way his character is done here.
5) Sollux - I just. . . this Sollux is amazing. Amazing.
6) Rhosyn - I have mixed feelings about Rose in canon, and the same is true about Rhosyn in BtSDLB. But what is done with her is just in general amazing. Her sarcasm is universal. It can be really hard to read. I think this is great.
7) DAIVAT - I don't actually like Dave much in canon. I mean, I like him when he is interacting with most of the trolls (TAVROS! GAMZEE! EQUIUS!), but I don't like him as a character that much - he irritates me. But I think I just unambiguously adore Daivat. His character is so interesting and so much more appealing than Dave and I CANNOT WAIT for all sorts of people to start realizing his deep, dark secret. It is going to be so awesome.
8) Vriska's scene with Dualscar - I am not a Vriska fan (this is a controversial issue). I don't hate hate her like some fans apparently do, and I do think I understand why some people like her. But she does irritate me, and I do generally root against her. I started out feeling similarly about her in this story, but I think ckret2's done a good job of using the scenario where, instead of being an upper-middle-class kid bullying and tormenting a lower-class kid, she's a lower-middle-class kid bullying and tormenting royalty, and generally using this to make her more sympathetic. Some of the parts of the comic that have spoken to me the most powerfully have been things Vriksa said (of course, because a lot of what she says is about the futility of hope and talking about how useful hope is is always the way to my heart), and in particular her scene talking to the ghost of Dualscar was really powerful. Oh, and ckret2 has actually also done a good job of making me like Terezi less (in canon, I don't necessarily feel passionate about her, but I do like her because she's my patron troll). Her reaction to what happened to Sollux and what she did to Vriska and Karkat were both really pretty awful.
9) Sollux and Karkat - Oh, man. I just love this. . . relationship. . . so much. Two self-loathing guys taking it out on each other and being massively screwed up about it. They want to get along but they just can't because they both hate themselves so much. Awesome forever.
10) The whole "Poor Unfortunate Souls" bit - Works. So effective. Of course, because part of it is Sollux doing that thing, which is amazing, and part of it is Karkat being sooooooo cu-adorabloodthirsty. But in general it is really awesome and lives up to the hype I saw for it on the WEBSITE OF EVIL AND DO NOT CLICK.
11) Equius <3 Tavros - This is not the most awesome relationship in the comic. But I found myself rather unexpectedly empathizing intensely with both of them. Okay, yes, this is both exactly how a relationship between a lowbl00d Equius and a highblood Tavros would go, and also something that is directly relevant to my own life in its terrifying awkwardness.
12) Equius <3< Gamzee - Epic. I had never expected before I started reading this comic that I would ever be drawn into shipping kismesis, because I don't ship much anyway (I don't really ship anything in Homestuck. Well, except for Equius <> Nepeta. But I would ship Equius <> Nepeta, given that Equius is my favorite character and moirails my favorite relationship) and because why would I care about kismesis, what relevance does kismesis have to me? But ckret2 does amazing kismesis. Equius and Gamzee is great. Especially the surgery scene. I love the way the power relations in the scene keep flipping. I love the way Gamzee casually threatens to tell on Equius, and how HAPPY Equius is to be cutting Gamzee up, and Gamzee moving, and Equius being driven to the point of confessing his hate, and hate snogs, and, yeah. I kinda ship it.
13) ERIDAN <3< KARKAT - I have come to ship it so much. And yes. I realize that neither one is capable of a true kismesis at this point, explicitly in canon. But the scenes here make me so happy. Karkat being soooooooooooo adorabloodthirsty. Karkat having no idea why he hasn't let go of Eridan yet. Eridan being so happy to find himself in Karkat's room. Eridan accidentally impersonating Karkat with Vriska. ERIDAN PURPOSEFULLY IMPERSONATING KARKAT WITH TEREZI (OMG OMG OMG, for some reason I just love the impersonation thing). Eridan and Karkat's duel and verbal duel. Hate snogs, near hate rape, and Eridan still holding out the possibility even when he isn't into it. Eridan's Jack Sparrow moment. Karkat's potentially final words being "Spade Laws." Eridan's happiness when he thinks Karkat is making it official. I just ship this so much. It really moves me. And it's about two guys who hate each other. Who knew?
14) Oh, btw, speaking of ERIDAN IMPERSONATING KARKAT WITH TEREZI - I do not like Suweet Broski, and I was initially glad that he did not possess Karkat. I was rooting for Karkat there. But ever since that happened I kind of regret my attitude there - there should be more possessing and, more importantly, impersonation. Suweet Broski pretending to be Karkat would have been awesome and so hilarious. I am so disappointed that when Sollux's body actually did get possessed Troll Britain's First Guardian turned it into a female body. Wouldn't it have been hilarious if she had pretended to be Sollux and confused the hell out of Karkat? And I know that Daivat doesn't want to impersonate Karkat, but I can kind of imagine Karkat wanting to impersonate Daivat? This should happen. There needs to be more impersonation.
15) Waiting so hard for the Ψiioniic to show up in the present day.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
What Hitherby Does to Me
I adore Satanic Panic in the Attic. It is an amazing album that I want to listen to whenever I feel happy, and sometimes when I'm not particularly happy, because it is just so full of happy, amazing songs. That having been said, there are a few songs on the album that I don't particularly care for, and among that number is "City Bird." I just find it kind of dull. Nonetheless, I have had it inexplicably stuck in my head for the past few weeks. I really can't understand it; I have no conscious reason for that particular song to be constantly stuck in my head.
Then yesterday there was this. And today, on one of those occasions when I have to stand around for an hour doing nothing, I was thinking about that, and had "City Bird" stuck in my head, and it suddenly occurred to me, Oh, "City Bird" is a song about a bodhisattva. It simultaneously makes so much sense and is so completely over-interpreting, but I just know I'm never going to unsee it now. From now on, I'm always going to just assume it's a song about a bodhisattva.
Then yesterday there was this. And today, on one of those occasions when I have to stand around for an hour doing nothing, I was thinking about that, and had "City Bird" stuck in my head, and it suddenly occurred to me, Oh, "City Bird" is a song about a bodhisattva. It simultaneously makes so much sense and is so completely over-interpreting, but I just know I'm never going to unsee it now. From now on, I'm always going to just assume it's a song about a bodhisattva.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Now That I'm Not Manic Anymore
Okay, I think this has already been kind of stated outright, and I don't know quite why this appeals to me so much, but where I'm really hoping the Hitherby canon is going, with even more explicitness than there is now, is that Melanie joined the monster's organization and accepted her birthright as a monster and is all monstrous purely with the intent of saving her best friend partially, Liril, from her horrible fate, even though she has to do it obliquely and subtly, and even though other than this one act of rebellion she must genuinely be a monster, and that she doesn't see what's wrong with it, and that she in fact refuses redemption and experiences her awful foretold fate, and that's the story.
I really have no idea why this is the kind of story I like. And it kind of is a bit too close to Max and Sid, maybe? But still, I am happier and happier that this is really where we seem to be going! She sacrifices herself, not physically but morally, for friendship! She sacrifices her morality for friendship! Please may it be so!
I really have no idea why this is the kind of story I like. And it kind of is a bit too close to Max and Sid, maybe? But still, I am happier and happier that this is really where we seem to be going! She sacrifices herself, not physically but morally, for friendship! She sacrifices her morality for friendship! Please may it be so!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The Universe Loathes Me, and It Is Destroying Me Always
No, seriously, I am not even kidding. This is just not fair. This is really the product of active malevolence. There isn't any other explanation. There is something out there that just wants me to die. It's not okay. There is a vast and intricate design out there, and its objective is an end to Grace.
Except of course I should note that my choice of pseudonym is also not particularly helping right now, hello!?!?!!?
Except of course I should note that my choice of pseudonym is also not particularly helping right now, hello!?!?!!?
Friday, April 1, 2011
The Real Place
You know, 2011 is a quarter over, and I have posted a grand total of one post on this blog this year that is not about Hitherby. Yeah.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
New _Hitherby_ Canon: A Cost-Benefit Analysis
Benefits: A world with new Hitherby canon is a very different place from a world without it. I keep on thinking of "Your Song," of all things - how wonderful life is now it's in the world. Everything seems exciting and shiny and new; there's a fundamental source of rightness in the universe that lies deep below everything. When things go wrong, you don't have to worry quite so much because you know that beauty and truth and love are still in the process of trickling into reality - you know that something is going to be amazing.
Costs: How do you think about anything else? Hitherby has this awkward Homeward Bounders effect for me - it tends to look like the Real Place, even though I know perfectly well that it isn't. Luckily it's been only one time in my life that I had the really serious problem with Hitherby and spent a night feeling like I was going to fade out of the world, but it's still very hard to pay attention to the world when there is Hitherby calling to me - even when Hitherby is the child of the world and the arm of the world and the eye of the world, a part of the world itself, not something different and separate and alien. Even despite that, it tends to sever me.
Costs: How do you think about anything else? Hitherby has this awkward Homeward Bounders effect for me - it tends to look like the Real Place, even though I know perfectly well that it isn't. Luckily it's been only one time in my life that I had the really serious problem with Hitherby and spent a night feeling like I was going to fade out of the world, but it's still very hard to pay attention to the world when there is Hitherby calling to me - even when Hitherby is the child of the world and the arm of the world and the eye of the world, a part of the world itself, not something different and separate and alien. Even despite that, it tends to sever me.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Words of Wisdom from Jenna
"A grape is a purple fruit that is not particularly responsible for the pervasive universal characteristic of suffering. Anybody attempting to blame this characteristic on the grapes has not completely thought through their theodicy."
---"What’s Purple and Incarnated in Human Form to Save Us All From Suffering? (III/VII)"
---"What’s Purple and Incarnated in Human Form to Save Us All From Suffering? (III/VII)"
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Aaaah! Aaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I am too excited for life!
The newest Hitherby canon entry's title is a reference to one of my favorite legends EVER in the history of the UNIVERSE!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!
New Hitherby canon is too much the best thing ever that it is kind of scary.
The newest Hitherby canon entry's title is a reference to one of my favorite legends EVER in the history of the UNIVERSE!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!
New Hitherby canon is too much the best thing ever that it is kind of scary.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
All the Best People Have to Be Ghosts
For a long time now, I have wondered why it is that I like Utena without loving it. On paper, Utena seems like something I should love. I've described Angel Sanctuary as "all these people who don't fully understand each other always hurting each other inadvertently" with Gnostic overtones implying that "the physical world is evil because it separates us, divides us up into these beings that can't touch and careen about and hurt each other" and, of course, weird gender and incest issues. Given this description, there's almost no distinction between AS and Utena. So, given that Utena is obviously the more intellectual of the two, and AS is clearly sillier by far, why is AS the one I adore and Utena the one I coldly admire?
While I was walking around doing nothing for an hour today, I came up, for the first time, with an answer that makes sense - if it is clearly not the content, then it must be the structure! This is slightly hard for me to accept because the structures do seem superficially similar (well, those aspects of the structure that seem relevant - I do not think the reason I don't love Utena is because of the Rose Bride duels). Both of them feature a main plot in the present and a lot of backstory, which is revealed gradually during the course of the main plot, up until the final, most important, extremely Gnostic backstory that gets revealed at the end. However, the difference between the two of them is, I think, in the balance of the backstory and the main story. It's true that in Utena the backstory is the motivation for the entire present story. It's also true that almost every important individual character has his or her own different backstory, and even that the backstories connect (to some degree - Utena's, Saionji's, Touga's, Akio's, and Anthy's obviously do). However, first of all I feel that less time is devoted to backstory in Utena and the focus is more clearly on the present. Even if I'm wrong about this (and I haven't measured it to find out for sure), I think that it's still true in the sense that people in AS spend a huge amount of time talking about the backstory with each other even in the present, whereas although we see a lot of the backstory in Utena, it seems less common for characters to be discussing it with each other in the present, such that it still makes for a time differential. Secondly, the backstory in AS is far more convoluted and interconnected; all of the characters have motivations that stem from the motivations of other characters who are connected to still other characters, whereas the backstory of Utena seems (if you don't mind my saying so) far less incestuous (as for whether or not this is literally true. . . ummm. . . that's a hard one). These two features contribute to my sense that, despite the many similarities between the two works, the backstory plays a more significant role in my experience of AS than my experience of Utena.
And of course it's very likely that this would, in fact, be a reason for me to love one far more than the other. Because I love stories where a lot of the story time is devoted to figuring out what went on in the past - in fact, that's among my favorite things. If you look at the works of art I have fallen in love with, whether it's Hexwood, Lost, Xenogears, PSME, or Hitherby - these are all stories where a lot of the narrative drive and suspense comes from trying to figure out what's already happened rather than momentum forwards. The big climactic moment of Utena isn't finding out the truth about Anthy and Akio, it's Utena's duel with Akio and the aftermath. It's something that happens in the present. But, although it is the end of the series, it would seem odd to say that the big climactic moment of AS is in fact Setsuna killing God; it seems to be more something along the lines of discovering the true relationship between Alexiel, Lucifiel, and Rosiel and the catharsis for Alexiel and Rosiel of Rosiel's death. So the climax is the reveal of the ultimate truth behind the plot; the death of God is more like a necessary afterthought (as part of the climactic reveal is the revelation that God is to blame for EVERYTHING!). This is the kind of story I love, where the whole point is to discover the truth about the past - it's the reason I fell madly in love with Absalom, Absalom! the moment I read it - because it's a book where the entire plot is laid out in the first chapter, and the rest of the book is just characters researching and then making up an explanation for it.
I don't know why this kind of narrative appeals to me more than other structures when the content is so close - but there you have it, it does. And I think that's a very helpful explanation of my heretofore inexplicable reactions.
Yay walking around doing nothing for an hour!
While I was walking around doing nothing for an hour today, I came up, for the first time, with an answer that makes sense - if it is clearly not the content, then it must be the structure! This is slightly hard for me to accept because the structures do seem superficially similar (well, those aspects of the structure that seem relevant - I do not think the reason I don't love Utena is because of the Rose Bride duels). Both of them feature a main plot in the present and a lot of backstory, which is revealed gradually during the course of the main plot, up until the final, most important, extremely Gnostic backstory that gets revealed at the end. However, the difference between the two of them is, I think, in the balance of the backstory and the main story. It's true that in Utena the backstory is the motivation for the entire present story. It's also true that almost every important individual character has his or her own different backstory, and even that the backstories connect (to some degree - Utena's, Saionji's, Touga's, Akio's, and Anthy's obviously do). However, first of all I feel that less time is devoted to backstory in Utena and the focus is more clearly on the present. Even if I'm wrong about this (and I haven't measured it to find out for sure), I think that it's still true in the sense that people in AS spend a huge amount of time talking about the backstory with each other even in the present, whereas although we see a lot of the backstory in Utena, it seems less common for characters to be discussing it with each other in the present, such that it still makes for a time differential. Secondly, the backstory in AS is far more convoluted and interconnected; all of the characters have motivations that stem from the motivations of other characters who are connected to still other characters, whereas the backstory of Utena seems (if you don't mind my saying so) far less incestuous (as for whether or not this is literally true. . . ummm. . . that's a hard one). These two features contribute to my sense that, despite the many similarities between the two works, the backstory plays a more significant role in my experience of AS than my experience of Utena.
And of course it's very likely that this would, in fact, be a reason for me to love one far more than the other. Because I love stories where a lot of the story time is devoted to figuring out what went on in the past - in fact, that's among my favorite things. If you look at the works of art I have fallen in love with, whether it's Hexwood, Lost, Xenogears, PSME, or Hitherby - these are all stories where a lot of the narrative drive and suspense comes from trying to figure out what's already happened rather than momentum forwards. The big climactic moment of Utena isn't finding out the truth about Anthy and Akio, it's Utena's duel with Akio and the aftermath. It's something that happens in the present. But, although it is the end of the series, it would seem odd to say that the big climactic moment of AS is in fact Setsuna killing God; it seems to be more something along the lines of discovering the true relationship between Alexiel, Lucifiel, and Rosiel and the catharsis for Alexiel and Rosiel of Rosiel's death. So the climax is the reveal of the ultimate truth behind the plot; the death of God is more like a necessary afterthought (as part of the climactic reveal is the revelation that God is to blame for EVERYTHING!). This is the kind of story I love, where the whole point is to discover the truth about the past - it's the reason I fell madly in love with Absalom, Absalom! the moment I read it - because it's a book where the entire plot is laid out in the first chapter, and the rest of the book is just characters researching and then making up an explanation for it.
I don't know why this kind of narrative appeals to me more than other structures when the content is so close - but there you have it, it does. And I think that's a very helpful explanation of my heretofore inexplicable reactions.
Yay walking around doing nothing for an hour!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Not to Mention the Cloud Whales
You know, normally, if I don't love something, I'm fairly clear on why I like it or dislike it. I dislike it because it's boring, or I like it because it has that cool stuff that I like.
But when I'm obsessed with something else, it's a little different. When I'm busy being obsessed with The Homeward Bounders, The Homeward Bounders strikes me as the perfect book, and nothing else is even remotely as appealing, because nothing else is perfect. When I'm obsessed with Hitherby, even DWJ books seem wordy and simplistic in comparison to the sparse thematic complexity that is ideal. But, you know, being obsessed with DWJ or Hitherby is kind of okay, given that the things I love them for aren't actually absurd OTT-ness.
And then there's being obsessed with Angel Sanctuary. A friend of mine mentioned on her personal blog that she is really into the new ABC Family TV show Huge and that it has an asexual character, and I was intrigued enough to start watching it. And I am finding it entertaining enough. It's nice to have been motivated to watch TV again (I really have trouble staying motivated to watch TV unless other people are there watching it with me). But. . . I keep on finding myself thinking, Wouldn't this friendship be so much interesting if that guy was actually possessed by an evil sword that has been chasing the other guy's reincarnations for centuries because it's in love with his original identity as a female angel and is actually, unbeknownst even to itself, Lucifer? or, Wouldn't that scene be strongly improved if there was a giant aborted angelic fetus with lots of eyeballs floating above?, or, The best solution for any weird problems with your father-figure is letting him eat you when he turns into a cannibal zombie, and then he can temporarily regain his sanity just in time to save Lucifer from being killed by the reincarnated angel with himself, because he's blind, and then his blindness will be miraculously lifted and he'll suddenly realize that you're not just his surrogate child but actually his real child that he left for dead after cutting you out of the womb of your mother when he was set up into killing her, so that he can save your life and get you to kill him as the real ultimate act of love.
I also find myself thinking very nostalgically of Gardens of the Moon, which is one of the few narratives I've encountered that seems even to approach AS for OTT-ness. I mean, the epic battle at the end is a good house (as in a building) versus an evil tree! I will never get over that!
If anyone reading this happens to have other recommendations of completely OTT narratives, drop them here. I can't promise to read them, but I would like a list! Basically I am looking for things like the good house (as in a building) versus an evil tree, where it doesn't come off as intentionally funny, and the thing is, it is, unavoidably, funny, but somehow it actually manages to work despite that.
But when I'm obsessed with something else, it's a little different. When I'm busy being obsessed with The Homeward Bounders, The Homeward Bounders strikes me as the perfect book, and nothing else is even remotely as appealing, because nothing else is perfect. When I'm obsessed with Hitherby, even DWJ books seem wordy and simplistic in comparison to the sparse thematic complexity that is ideal. But, you know, being obsessed with DWJ or Hitherby is kind of okay, given that the things I love them for aren't actually absurd OTT-ness.
And then there's being obsessed with Angel Sanctuary. A friend of mine mentioned on her personal blog that she is really into the new ABC Family TV show Huge and that it has an asexual character, and I was intrigued enough to start watching it. And I am finding it entertaining enough. It's nice to have been motivated to watch TV again (I really have trouble staying motivated to watch TV unless other people are there watching it with me). But. . . I keep on finding myself thinking, Wouldn't this friendship be so much interesting if that guy was actually possessed by an evil sword that has been chasing the other guy's reincarnations for centuries because it's in love with his original identity as a female angel and is actually, unbeknownst even to itself, Lucifer? or, Wouldn't that scene be strongly improved if there was a giant aborted angelic fetus with lots of eyeballs floating above?, or, The best solution for any weird problems with your father-figure is letting him eat you when he turns into a cannibal zombie, and then he can temporarily regain his sanity just in time to save Lucifer from being killed by the reincarnated angel with himself, because he's blind, and then his blindness will be miraculously lifted and he'll suddenly realize that you're not just his surrogate child but actually his real child that he left for dead after cutting you out of the womb of your mother when he was set up into killing her, so that he can save your life and get you to kill him as the real ultimate act of love.
I also find myself thinking very nostalgically of Gardens of the Moon, which is one of the few narratives I've encountered that seems even to approach AS for OTT-ness. I mean, the epic battle at the end is a good house (as in a building) versus an evil tree! I will never get over that!
If anyone reading this happens to have other recommendations of completely OTT narratives, drop them here. I can't promise to read them, but I would like a list! Basically I am looking for things like the good house (as in a building) versus an evil tree, where it doesn't come off as intentionally funny, and the thing is, it is, unavoidably, funny, but somehow it actually manages to work despite that.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Oh, Also
Jenna Moran just posted up stats for Martin and Jane as if they were characters in her tabletop RPG, Nobilis. I know nothing about Nobilis, but TSOR suggests that what she has written strongly supports my contention that Martin is extremely creepy. So I am feeling kind of justified in that one, even if I think we're not meant to take it entirely literally.
Also - when it says that Jane is an angel, is that purely a Nobilis term? Because. . . it's a thought-provoking word choice.
I wish you would all read Hitherby so that you could comment on this!
ETA: Aww, the people who actually read Hitherby went and commented on it and answered my question in such a boring way that it no longer says that Jane is an angel! Oh, well. Nothing about Martin's creepiness has changed. It is difficult to imagine any circumstance in which Martin's creepiness will change.
Also - when it says that Jane is an angel, is that purely a Nobilis term? Because. . . it's a thought-provoking word choice.
I wish you would all read Hitherby so that you could comment on this!
ETA: Aww, the people who actually read Hitherby went and commented on it and answered my question in such a boring way that it no longer says that Jane is an angel! Oh, well. Nothing about Martin's creepiness has changed. It is difficult to imagine any circumstance in which Martin's creepiness will change.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
A Theodicy I Find Acceptable! (Just Not in Our Universe)
I've been thinking about God and fiction again all weekend. I think my previous post on this topic had the issue of jumping between my perspective and my characters' perspective too much. I don't think it's fair to mix these up. From my perspective, we can say, I am obviously not God. However, I still might be God from my characters' perspectives, and this is the point that counts. So let's try to look at the issue from my characters' perspectives, then.
Okay. So, from my perspective, I created their universe. There then remain two possibilities. Either they could meaningfully "transcend" their universe and come to interact with me and other people in my universe, or they couldn't. If the former is true, then, by definition, I can't be God, because, by definition, God is the "uncaused cause" or the "unmoved mover." If my characters have the capacity of transcendence, then they clearly would realize that I am far from being an uncaused cause or unmoved mover. Thus, if my characters can transcend, I cannot be God, not only from my perspective but also from theirs! However, it seems obvious that, even if they can't transcend their universe from my perspective, from their perspective, they can. This is because they are capable of knowing that they are fictional characters. If I create them that way, they will be aware of their own fictionality. Since I have created such characters, I know that this is clearly possible. A character who is conscious of her own fictionality is clearly one who realizes the limitations and boundaries on her author, since that character is aware of the existence of a "real world" that subsumes her own and that provides limitations on the mindset of the author. So that character might be mad at the author, but cannot place ultimate blame on him and cannot think of him as God.
One might argue - but you are still creating some characters who aren't aware of their own fictionality; thus, those characters cannot make any such argument. I think in order to deal with this argument we really have to place ourselves into the perspective of one of these characters. So, switching gears for a moment and imagining myself as a character in a text by a transcendent, sufficiently-advanced alien (a hypothesis which may well be true): I certainly have no knowledge of my fictionality. However, I can safely believe there are three possibilities. Either my universe was created by no one, or it was created by an imminent God, or it was created by a sufficiently advanced alien. Note that these possibilities are not, in fact, mutually exclusive. The universe in Paradise Lost, for example, was created by both an imminent God (the God that appears in the text) AND a sufficiently advanced alien (John Milton). If the universe was created by no one, then it is meaningless to call God evil. If the universe was created by an imminent God, then I call that God evil. If the universe was created by a sufficiently advanced alien, then I do not call her evil, because she is not ultimately to blame for suffering - suffering was presumably part of the very cause that led her, a deeply moved mover, to create the universe. I believe that is meaningful to distinguish universes created by no one from those created by John Milton, in the sense that, while it's never possible to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that your universe wasn't created by John Milton, it is, as mentioned above, possible to prove that your universe is. If John Milton makes you aware of the fact that your universe was created by John Milton, then you will know that your universe was created by John Milton (it is a justified true belief); this is something that is very unlikely to happen if your universe was not created by John Milton, and so, were I to be granted this belief, I would be pretty likely to take it at face value and not be skeptical about it. Thus, regardless of whether or not I know for sure that the universe was created by John Milton, as long as the possibility of knowing this is open to me (which it clearly is), John Milton is not evil from my perspective.
But this opens up a rather odd corollary that has useful and, I think, extremely satisfying implications for theodicy. The thing is, my third possibility is that the universe was in fact created by an immanent God (a possibility which I can clearly imagine, given the existence of, say, Paradise Lost. The immanent God Itself may be, in fact, a fictional character created by a sufficiently advanced alien, but, as long as the God believes Itself to be immanent, it still counts (I would want to say that, despite the fact that Milton created Paradise Lost's God, this is still justifiably a representation of God, not a sufficiently advanced alien. If we can say that fictional characters have properties, and obviously we can, then in the world of the fiction it is completely true that God is God.). I would like to say that this God is evil, a villainous character - and I'm not the only one, if you look at the kind of arguments people have about Paradise Lost. This God, which is, from Its own perspective, an uncaused cause (even if from our perspective It is not), deliberately chose to create the universe and be the cause of a great deal of suffering, for no good reason.
However, the immanent God is also, by definition, omnipotent within the realm of its universe, which means that, among the other things It can do, It can most certainly cause the people of the universe to believe, with full conviction, that they are fictional characters. This may or may not be true; from God's perspective, it certainly isn't true. But God can make them believe it, anyway. Which means that there is in fact a way for an immanent God to create a universe and yet not be evil - It just has to have Its people believe that they are fictional characters.
Is it enough for this to be possible? I was already saying that I am not evil if I create a fictional universe, even if I don't let all my characters know that they are fictional. But I am not within the fictional universe and therefore don't have to admit to the reality of my characters, and, in order for my characters to be talking and thinking about me and not a fictional immanent God in their world, I have to be not God. I am not the God of their world because I am not immanent and don't believe myself to be God; my moral decisions thus are made on that basis (and they will be able to come to understand if my moral decisions are made on that basis). But God really is God and believes Itself to be God; God's moral decisions thus have to be based on a genuine belief in the importance and reality of Its subjects (since God is not aware of any limitations on Its powers, and, in fact, within Its own universe, there are no limitations). Thus, God's responsibilities are different from mine. God is less evil and more good, even if It is fully immanent, to the extent that It lets Its conscious creations believe (even if falsely) that they are fictional characters.
So God, the source of all goodness, is in fact morally justifiable only if It lies? But I don't think this is as bad a result as it might sound. Because the whole point is that it isn't really a lie - if you believe you are a fictional character, then you are, or there is no meaningful difference between believing yourself to be a fictional character and actually being a fictional character (how can you prove that you're not a fictional character? Is this even a meaningful concept?). And being a fictional character seems to be the one thing that could justify suffering to me. Because if your suffering is purely fiction, then you are aware that it is not real, not important - you have perspective. My suffering seems real to me and that is why I hate it; were I to not experience my suffering as real, I would not have this reaction. In fact, this is precisely the point of the dream I relate here. One of the most exciting, pleasurable dreams I ever had, which involved suffering, but that was okay, because the suffering in the dream was known by the character experiencing the suffering to be only fake suffering, in service of a larger goal of creating suspense. That suffering is okay, because it is justified in the mind of the character who knows that she is really only a smaller part of a larger mind.
So, I can actually see an immanent God as non-evil! If you happen to be omnipotent and omniscient and want to create a universe, I will now give you permission! However, our universe is still not that universe, because we DO NOT KNOW that we are merely ideas in the mind of God. Or perhaps some people do know that, but I don't. And if an immanent God created me, then there was no need to create me without this belief.
I also really like this theodicy a lot because I think it fits with my love of Hitherby. I've often thought about how, even though there is just as much suffering and pain in Hitherby as there is in the real world, I always feel like I'd rather live in the Hitherby universe. I've never been quite sure why, except for the very vague thought that I liked the metaphysics better than the metaphysics of our universe. But now I think I have a better sense of why - the reason is because, even if Hitherby doesn't quite fit the ideal of having everyone know that they are a fictional character (and, in fact, part of the point of Hitherby is that even fictional characters can become real characters who feel real pain), it seems to come much closer to that ideal than our world. I still wouldn't quite call the God of Hitherby omnibenevolent, but It seems to be far less evil than the theoretical immanent God of our world. More like the level of evil of a regular human being or a sufficiently advanced alien than the level of brazen evil I see in that idea.
Okay. So, from my perspective, I created their universe. There then remain two possibilities. Either they could meaningfully "transcend" their universe and come to interact with me and other people in my universe, or they couldn't. If the former is true, then, by definition, I can't be God, because, by definition, God is the "uncaused cause" or the "unmoved mover." If my characters have the capacity of transcendence, then they clearly would realize that I am far from being an uncaused cause or unmoved mover. Thus, if my characters can transcend, I cannot be God, not only from my perspective but also from theirs! However, it seems obvious that, even if they can't transcend their universe from my perspective, from their perspective, they can. This is because they are capable of knowing that they are fictional characters. If I create them that way, they will be aware of their own fictionality. Since I have created such characters, I know that this is clearly possible. A character who is conscious of her own fictionality is clearly one who realizes the limitations and boundaries on her author, since that character is aware of the existence of a "real world" that subsumes her own and that provides limitations on the mindset of the author. So that character might be mad at the author, but cannot place ultimate blame on him and cannot think of him as God.
One might argue - but you are still creating some characters who aren't aware of their own fictionality; thus, those characters cannot make any such argument. I think in order to deal with this argument we really have to place ourselves into the perspective of one of these characters. So, switching gears for a moment and imagining myself as a character in a text by a transcendent, sufficiently-advanced alien (a hypothesis which may well be true): I certainly have no knowledge of my fictionality. However, I can safely believe there are three possibilities. Either my universe was created by no one, or it was created by an imminent God, or it was created by a sufficiently advanced alien. Note that these possibilities are not, in fact, mutually exclusive. The universe in Paradise Lost, for example, was created by both an imminent God (the God that appears in the text) AND a sufficiently advanced alien (John Milton). If the universe was created by no one, then it is meaningless to call God evil. If the universe was created by an imminent God, then I call that God evil. If the universe was created by a sufficiently advanced alien, then I do not call her evil, because she is not ultimately to blame for suffering - suffering was presumably part of the very cause that led her, a deeply moved mover, to create the universe. I believe that is meaningful to distinguish universes created by no one from those created by John Milton, in the sense that, while it's never possible to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that your universe wasn't created by John Milton, it is, as mentioned above, possible to prove that your universe is. If John Milton makes you aware of the fact that your universe was created by John Milton, then you will know that your universe was created by John Milton (it is a justified true belief); this is something that is very unlikely to happen if your universe was not created by John Milton, and so, were I to be granted this belief, I would be pretty likely to take it at face value and not be skeptical about it. Thus, regardless of whether or not I know for sure that the universe was created by John Milton, as long as the possibility of knowing this is open to me (which it clearly is), John Milton is not evil from my perspective.
But this opens up a rather odd corollary that has useful and, I think, extremely satisfying implications for theodicy. The thing is, my third possibility is that the universe was in fact created by an immanent God (a possibility which I can clearly imagine, given the existence of, say, Paradise Lost. The immanent God Itself may be, in fact, a fictional character created by a sufficiently advanced alien, but, as long as the God believes Itself to be immanent, it still counts (I would want to say that, despite the fact that Milton created Paradise Lost's God, this is still justifiably a representation of God, not a sufficiently advanced alien. If we can say that fictional characters have properties, and obviously we can, then in the world of the fiction it is completely true that God is God.). I would like to say that this God is evil, a villainous character - and I'm not the only one, if you look at the kind of arguments people have about Paradise Lost. This God, which is, from Its own perspective, an uncaused cause (even if from our perspective It is not), deliberately chose to create the universe and be the cause of a great deal of suffering, for no good reason.
However, the immanent God is also, by definition, omnipotent within the realm of its universe, which means that, among the other things It can do, It can most certainly cause the people of the universe to believe, with full conviction, that they are fictional characters. This may or may not be true; from God's perspective, it certainly isn't true. But God can make them believe it, anyway. Which means that there is in fact a way for an immanent God to create a universe and yet not be evil - It just has to have Its people believe that they are fictional characters.
Is it enough for this to be possible? I was already saying that I am not evil if I create a fictional universe, even if I don't let all my characters know that they are fictional. But I am not within the fictional universe and therefore don't have to admit to the reality of my characters, and, in order for my characters to be talking and thinking about me and not a fictional immanent God in their world, I have to be not God. I am not the God of their world because I am not immanent and don't believe myself to be God; my moral decisions thus are made on that basis (and they will be able to come to understand if my moral decisions are made on that basis). But God really is God and believes Itself to be God; God's moral decisions thus have to be based on a genuine belief in the importance and reality of Its subjects (since God is not aware of any limitations on Its powers, and, in fact, within Its own universe, there are no limitations). Thus, God's responsibilities are different from mine. God is less evil and more good, even if It is fully immanent, to the extent that It lets Its conscious creations believe (even if falsely) that they are fictional characters.
So God, the source of all goodness, is in fact morally justifiable only if It lies? But I don't think this is as bad a result as it might sound. Because the whole point is that it isn't really a lie - if you believe you are a fictional character, then you are, or there is no meaningful difference between believing yourself to be a fictional character and actually being a fictional character (how can you prove that you're not a fictional character? Is this even a meaningful concept?). And being a fictional character seems to be the one thing that could justify suffering to me. Because if your suffering is purely fiction, then you are aware that it is not real, not important - you have perspective. My suffering seems real to me and that is why I hate it; were I to not experience my suffering as real, I would not have this reaction. In fact, this is precisely the point of the dream I relate here. One of the most exciting, pleasurable dreams I ever had, which involved suffering, but that was okay, because the suffering in the dream was known by the character experiencing the suffering to be only fake suffering, in service of a larger goal of creating suspense. That suffering is okay, because it is justified in the mind of the character who knows that she is really only a smaller part of a larger mind.
So, I can actually see an immanent God as non-evil! If you happen to be omnipotent and omniscient and want to create a universe, I will now give you permission! However, our universe is still not that universe, because we DO NOT KNOW that we are merely ideas in the mind of God. Or perhaps some people do know that, but I don't. And if an immanent God created me, then there was no need to create me without this belief.
I also really like this theodicy a lot because I think it fits with my love of Hitherby. I've often thought about how, even though there is just as much suffering and pain in Hitherby as there is in the real world, I always feel like I'd rather live in the Hitherby universe. I've never been quite sure why, except for the very vague thought that I liked the metaphysics better than the metaphysics of our universe. But now I think I have a better sense of why - the reason is because, even if Hitherby doesn't quite fit the ideal of having everyone know that they are a fictional character (and, in fact, part of the point of Hitherby is that even fictional characters can become real characters who feel real pain), it seems to come much closer to that ideal than our world. I still wouldn't quite call the God of Hitherby omnibenevolent, but It seems to be far less evil than the theoretical immanent God of our world. More like the level of evil of a regular human being or a sufficiently advanced alien than the level of brazen evil I see in that idea.
Monday, April 27, 2009
How to Read Hitherby Canon
I've decided to reread all of Hitherby canon - which is just one of those things that happens. This might lead to me blogging about Hitherby, but, unfortunately, due to the way Hitherby canon is, anything I post might well have spoilers for all of Hitherby. So if you want to read these posts, I would recommend that you read all of Hitherby canon too. It is a good idea, I promise you! Jenna claims that it is a good idea to start reading Hitherby canon at the beginning; my own experience is that this is not the case, since, as with many serial works of art, the beginning is somewhat less polished than later on, plus it makes so little sense without any context that it's very difficult to get into.
My own personal recommendation is to start reading at "The Flower (I/IV)", which makes more sense and is much more engaging and also has Maya! And things with Maya are good. And then you can read the next three - they kind of get across what some of the premise is. Then read Tantalus (I/IV)" and the next three - they are somewhat more bizarre than the first set I told you to read, but they are very entertaining, and convey another rather important chunk of the premise.
Then. . . ummm. . . read these, and then this, and then this, about Mylitta and Nabonidus and Belshazzar, and then the canon entires in the Buddhism category, and then, at least if you are me, you will be sufficiently hooked so as to want to read as much canon as possible, and you will not need my guidance any longer.
Then we can talk about the key important question of why Jesus and Prometheus (and my inner Paul Fry is telling me to add Satan, but I'm not sure he's a key important question) are missing, and how creepy Martin is (look, I'm sorry, but he is creepy), and what is really going on with Mei Ming (I had this dream about Mei Ming once. . . it's a little hard to describe), and the AMAZING AWESOMENESS that is anything touching on Ink Catherly. And you can tell me who your favorite characters are. Mine are Ink because she is awkwardly similar to that character I want Rebecca Mader to play, Maya because she is Maya, the veil of illusion, and Mylitta and Nabonidus because it is awkwardly similar to my favorite extremely private id-story of all time.
My own personal recommendation is to start reading at "The Flower (I/IV)", which makes more sense and is much more engaging and also has Maya! And things with Maya are good. And then you can read the next three - they kind of get across what some of the premise is. Then read Tantalus (I/IV)" and the next three - they are somewhat more bizarre than the first set I told you to read, but they are very entertaining, and convey another rather important chunk of the premise.
Then. . . ummm. . . read these, and then this, and then this, about Mylitta and Nabonidus and Belshazzar, and then the canon entires in the Buddhism category, and then, at least if you are me, you will be sufficiently hooked so as to want to read as much canon as possible, and you will not need my guidance any longer.
Then we can talk about the key important question of why Jesus and Prometheus (and my inner Paul Fry is telling me to add Satan, but I'm not sure he's a key important question) are missing, and how creepy Martin is (look, I'm sorry, but he is creepy), and what is really going on with Mei Ming (I had this dream about Mei Ming once. . . it's a little hard to describe), and the AMAZING AWESOMENESS that is anything touching on Ink Catherly. And you can tell me who your favorite characters are. Mine are Ink because she is awkwardly similar to that character I want Rebecca Mader to play, Maya because she is Maya, the veil of illusion, and Mylitta and Nabonidus because it is awkwardly similar to my favorite extremely private id-story of all time.
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